Burnout sucks – but it can be the start of something new
The drop into burnout is long, the path back up even longer. Yet there’s light at the end of the path.
What you’ll find here:
I’ll talk about burnout, and how much it impacts your life — seen and unseen. What I've learned from roughly four years of burnout, and how to either manage it when you’re in it or find a way to slow your pace so burnout won’t happen to you.
What burnout feels like
Even discussing burnout feels like a daunting task. And I’ve been in it for roughly four years now. You’d think I’d have gotten used to talking about this huge energy-sucking vampire, because that’s what burnout is for me. It sucks your energy dry and leaves you wading through a muddy mess.
There are many forms of burnout, or so I’ve learned over the years. But the one I’m in, the one many might be in or on their way into, is the one where you feel tired — mentally, physically, emotionally. You’re exhausted on all those levels, and finding ways to recharge seems like a monumental task. Or you don’t have the time for self-care due to life's demands. And with life, I mean anything: work, children, household, friends, or just a demanding surrounding, which obviously includes all of the above.
There’s even autistic burnout, where an autistic person burns out because of sensory overload. Yet this is not about that one, even if it’s similar. Anything that pushes your boundaries, that keeps your nervous system in a constant state of stress — always on, never resting — can push you into burnout. It’s like living with your foot pressed halfway down on the gas pedal all the time. At some point, the tank runs out of fuel. The continuous inertia that pushes you over the hill and down. And there are many other ways to end up in burnout. Becca Syme has some fantastic videos on burnout and energy (I don’t know her personally, but her work has really helped me — linking them here in case they help you too)
Make sure to check in with your doctor if you are heading into burnout or already in it. They have the knowledge and resources to help you.
Being an author in burnout
As an author and a creative person, burnout seems to hit differently. Because (and this is honestly my opinion and frustration with burnout) writing isn’t so hard, right? Cue laughing and snorting here.
It is hard. Because the burnout-vampire doesn’t care what kind of energy it sucks. I (and perhaps some of you, too) often forget that thinking requires energy. And thinking about worlds, characters, books, plots, paths they have to follow, and whether they wore a green shirt one paragraph and still wear a green one later — that matters for a writer. Even if you sit still behind a computer, it costs energy.
And for many of you out there, who do this next to a full-time job and a full-time life, it’s a battle of who gets the energy. And that’s hard. Sometimes even painful. Because when will it become better, when will the exhaustion leave?
When will it leave?
First of all, when it will leave — I don’t have an answer for you because every burnout path is so different from another. When it will be better — no clue either. You are in this, and you have to figure out for yourself what works.
There’s help, and I do recommend using it. Consult with friends, family, and healthcare specialists. You are not alone in this, and you don't have to face it alone. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve taken away from this. Holding onto the feeling that “I should be able to do this by myself” won’t work at all. It might be true in other times, but it’s not when you’re in burnout.
Small house, big lesson
I live in a roughly 50m² house. It’s simple: one tiny bathroom, two bedrooms, a small kitchen, an okay-size living room, and a small hallway and entry. That’s it. I can literally clean this house within an hour. Bathroom, vacuum, mop, kitchen cleaned, dusting done, litter box scooped — all within that time. Yet I’m looking for a cleaner. Because a cleaned house is essential for me, but so are other things. This way, my house gets clean, and I have room to recover without the added stress of “Shit, I need to vacuum, it’s been two weeks,” or trying to plan it weekly and getting stressed out by the pressure of the dirty floor.
Finding support
I talk to a psychologist to air my frustrations and have him ask questions I don’t want to hear, but know are helpful. I talk to my husband and friends, and ask them to help me out by doing fun things that actually recharge me.
Which is a massive part of the recovery time, or at least one of the two. The most important one is having grace, being kind to yourself. Because you won’t be able to do it all, no matter how much you wish it (listen to yourself, Serena!). So, being okay with a day of watching TV, reading books, or playing games — and being kind to yourself, because recharging is essential. Your body didn’t go into burnout for the fun of it. This is a lesson to be learned, to be heard. Your body told you: you went too fast.
Grace (the hard truth)
You have that saying, “smell the roses along the way.” I always thought it meant you needed to appreciate what you have around you. But what if it means that sometimes you have to stand still and enjoy something just for yourself, to recharge?
Recovery looks different for everyone.
Therefore, the second point is that recovery is unique to each individual. I can’t sit still, at least not do nothing. I need to clean a bit in the house and create a to-do list. But that’s because I’m wired that way. You might not be, and that’s fine. If being in bed for a day or two is what works for you, go for it. Just be aware that you do things that bring you happiness and give you energy, rather than things that end up draining you more.
A few things that help me
Walking outside. Nature is a great way to reset your nervous system.
Doing some meditation.
Journaling (I actually use an app for this — you’ll find the link below).
Planning my day only on the day itself (of course, appointments like the doctor or psychologist are already pre-planned, but that’s fine).
Watching a good movie or playing a game and saying f*ck it to house chores.
Crying and letting it all go for a moment. Crying is a stress releaser, so it helps.
I also take some extra vitamins, such as Vitamin C and D, to boost my energy.
These are all small things to do, especially the walking. I don’t have to go out for two hours, just 20 minutes is good too. And if I’m sick, I’ll go to my favorite coffee place around the corner and get a chai, which is enough. Because I’ve learned to listen to my body, that might be a hidden number three: listen to your body. Listen to the signs it gives you. If you’re tired, do nothing — or only the things you feel like you can do. But most of all, be kind to yourself when you can’t do them, or all of them.
And know that these points up here work for me. I’m not telling you that you have to do them; I'm just saying that they might work for you, too. Try them. If they work — awesome. If not, adjust, find others, try new things. Find your way. That’s what counts.
Not just recovery — prevention
All the things mentioned above are not only for when you are in burnout. They can also be used to keep you from going into burnout. Slow down. Ask yourself if you really need to do it all — and if not, consider ditching a few things. You are allowed to say no to things, to people. Because you only have so much that you can handle. Please don’t push it. The long term is not worth it.
Moving forward with burnout
Moving forward in the face of burnout can feel slow, dragging, tiring, and more. Yet every day is one, and you might step back a few times because life throws a curveball. And honestly, that’s painful. Only know that the knowledge you’ve gathered will help you move forward again. And maybe even in a quicker way, because you know what to do. It’s not wading through mud anymore — you now have a lifeline, with things that help. Use them. Don’t be alone in the mud when you don’t have to.
Final thoughts
Burnout is complex, difficult, and maybe the end. But it’s such a great teacher in how to create a sustainable life, one that leaves you content and happy.
And if you’re ready to return to the publishing world or start a new career in publishing and want someone to help you alleviate the pressure of publishing, reach out, and I’ll be there to support you.
Wherever you are on this path, you are not alone. Take what helps, leave the rest, and keep moving one step at a time.
The promised links.
- Untold – a great tool to journal by speaking instead of writing.
- Becca Syme on Burnout – helpful videos about burnout, energy, and creativity. (I’m not affiliated with her, just sharing because I’ve learned a lot from her work.)